There are some things as a man that you should simply be able to do. Take a mouse out of a trap. Change a flat tire. Light a fire. Put up a tent. Grill. Use a chain saw. Split wood. It’s not to say that you’re not a man if you can’t do these things, I just feel that a large part of the current generation are missing out on things that we used to take for granted. These are simple things that women also expect men to be able to do but realize that a lot of us can’t do.
You never want to try any of those things without practicing first. You never want your wife, girlfriend or a date you are trying to impress see you struggle with any of those things. There is nothing in the world more embarrassing than arriving at your campsite in the middle of the night and not being able to get the tent up. It’s just a jumble of poles, ties, canvas and it never brings out the best in you. You end up cursing a lot and sleeping in the car. It’s not a good way to start a trip.
The same thing goes for cooking. There are a few things that a man should be able to cook. Nothing impresses a woman these days more than a man who can cook. I found myself single in a strange city a number of years ago and had no idea how to meet women. I was uncomfortable in bars and I’m rather deaf, so having a conversation consisted mostly of, “Hi, my name is Ron.” “What?” “Excuse me?” “You’re name is Randy??” (It wasn’t. It was Mandy.)
I did love to cook, though that is a lonely affair for one. I accidently left my door open one evening (I never did get used to the necessity of closing the door and locking it in cities) and was preparing lasagna. A half-starved gorgeous blonde neighbor who existed mostly on Starbucks and Skittles knocked on my door and asked what I was cooking. Voila! I was on to something! My kitchen became the neighborhood hangout almost overnight.
One thing that you should be able to cook as a man is an omelet. You can earn some serious extra bonus points on that first morning together if you can effortlessly whip up an omelet. They are so simple to make and so easy to ruin. So, I’m going to guide you step by step through making the perfect omelet.
1. Get your ingredients ready. Most anything will work in an omelet, but remember this: Keep it simple! The guy temptation is to throw everything in the fridge on it, including leftover pepperoni. Don’t do it. Three or four ingredients, max. Too many and the omelet will be overloaded and nearly impossible to work with. I know IHOP does it, but just don’t.
2. Use fresh eggs. Trust me, you can find them. They are most always cheaper than the grocery store and they do make a difference. Even if you can’t really tell them apart, it’s always impressive to wow her with the fact you care enough to go source eggs for her special omelet.
3. With your ingredients prepared, crack two eggs into a bowl large enough to mix without spilling. Use the one-handed method to gain extra points. Again, practice first. Digging eggshells out of the bowl isn’t very impressive.
4. Mix until the eggs are frothy. This is important for a light texture. I like this IKEA egg beater. It cost about 59 cents and I’ve had it for ten years.
5. Heat a non-stick skillet over medium heat. Melt about a tablespoon of butter. Allow it to heat up but not burn. Slice the toast and get it into the toaster.
6. Pour the egg mixture into the pan after one final whip. Just as the eggs start to firm but haven’t set, gently lift the eggs and allow the uncooked mixture to run into the hot pan. This is important! Don’t flip the omelet, just lift all around the pan and allow the uncooked eggs to slide under the cooked. Again, don’t flip it!
7. Sprinkle the entire omelet with Parmesan or any other hard cheese.
8. Add your other ingredients on only one half of the omelet. If you are a lefty, put them on the right side. If you are right-handed, put them on the left side.
9. Using a spatula, carefully fold the omelet in half.
10. Place more cheese on top and steam for a couple of minutes and allow the cheese to melt.
11. Carefully slide the omelet onto a plate and serve with toast, homemade jam (more on this later) and big mug of tea or coffee. Green tea works best.
12. Tell her how much you love your family and miss your Mom. Talk about your favorite dog while growing up. Don’t overdo it. After this perfect omelet you just whipped up she may begin to think you are secretly gay.
Again, practice this first!!